The Bachelor Balderdash 01/06/2020

How do I even begin to start this post? How did I get roped into watching The Bachelor of all things? I actually used to watch The Bachelor back when it first began. Think Ryan and Trista days. Or Bob Guiney who was from MI near me and I thought was cute because of his sense of humor. He could have made it big! I guess he was a television host for a while so maybe he did make it, I don't know.

I actually watched part of the Bachelorette this past season with Hannah Brown. I did not realize there was so much drama in these later shows! OMG! Hannah cried all the time about making her decisions and oh boy, how hard your life must be to make out with guys and travel the world? 

So, here I am to offer my commentary on this train wreck called The Bachelor.  I hope you choose to stick with me over the course of this season. If you don't know me, I do love to write- and not always about fashion! When I started watching last night, I did four Instagram stories in about 20 minutes and I knew this would make an excellent topic. I will be writing from MY point of view. I am older, I am divorced, I have a teenage son, I have an MBA, etc. I might be somewhat cynical at times but I do love love and I certainly understand the need and want to be loved. I also understand that you can meet your forever date in unconventional ways such as online, television shows, etc. I once went out with a guy I met while sitting next to him on a plane ride from Dallas to NY. You never know where you might meet The One or The One For Right Now. 

So fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

See what I did there? That was my first pilot/air joke. Last night was the meet and greet and boy did these girls go out of their way to talk about this topic! From all of the boasting about being a flight attendant and how much they would have in common (I think there were 3 of them?) to busting Peter's balls about his last girl from Alabama or the last girl named Hannah to entrances in cars or baggage to saying four times (reference to how many times he and Hannah Brown did it in the windmill) to a girl bringing an emotional support cow (Seriously, what the hell was that!) to the girl bringing a value pack of condoms that she thought he would need. These girls did all they could do to make a great lasting first impression on poor Peter the Pilot. 

How about Alayah bringing Peter a letter from her Grandma Rose and she has no idea what it says. Peter also happens to have a Grandma Rose so they connect on that level. Or what about Victoria F saying she has a dry sense of humor but that is the only thing that is dry about forward to later in the show when they have 1x1 time alone and Peter doesn't remember her or her joke and she has to tell it again...You guys...I just can't with these girls!

Nothing compares to the entrance of Hannah Brown which I swear they still really like each other. She gives him back the wings he gave her last season and they are friendly with each other while the girls in the house are shrieking and crying that she is there. Yes, this really happened- insert eyeroll emoji here lol.

Next week I am going to do a drinking game whenever someone comes over and asks if they can steal Peter away for a minute. I can only think of the SNL sketch when they do this and it makes me laugh even more. This one with James McEvoy is one of the funniest. I think the funniest time was the paper airplane throwing for attention to steal Peter away from the girl he was currently with. She watched them making out and kept throwing paper airplanes until she got attention. The other girl comes back with huge paper airplane prop and throws it at her. Cattiness, anyone? That scene was actually one of my favorites of the whole night. 

Now it's time for the crying. I didn't get to spend enough time with him. She stole him away. This is the ugly bits of the show and the part that really makes women look stupid and immature. 

Hannah Ann receives the first impression rose and to be honest, I am totally fine with this. When I saw her intro package and then her interaction with Peter, I really liked her for him. This feeling might change as time goes on but for now, I also agree with Peter. Shocking!

Now it's time for the shocking first rose ceremony! Here's who made the cut- Victoria P, Madison, Kelley (who can we talk about for a minute? They already met before and I see the connection with them for sure!), Lexi, Savannah, Lauren (who wore a banging pantsuit!), Tammy, Alayah, Jasmine, Sydney, Natasha, Mykenna, Deandra, Sarah, Alexa, Kelsey, Peyton, Kiara, Courtney, Shiann, Victoria F- I wasn't surprised with his choices at all. I was happy I guess? But poor Katrina was crying that she didn't get selected- poor Katrina is a pro sports dancer- I am pretty sure she can find a date...

This is taking a long time to write so thanks if you're still reading...

It's time for the first group date and these girls were selected: Hannah Ann, Kelley, Deandra, Tammy, Courtney, Shiann, Victoria P, Jasmine, Victoria F. 

The first date is a flying themed date- the girls are all dressed in their skimpy athletic clothing bouncing around ready to see Peter again. The start of the date has us meeting two female pilots and them conducting a sort of flight school- cue all the Top Gun references here too- The girls learn basic math, terms of aviation, take a ride in the gyroscope and then suit up in their flight outfits. The last part is an obstacle course of which the final two contestants are Kelley and Tammy. Tammy keeps yelling at Kelley that she is cheating. Kelley doesn't care and no one tells her otherwise so it's a win for Kelley. Later that night, Tammy approaches Kelley again who obviously doesn't give a damn that she cheated cuz that meant she won. The prize was a sunset flight which was romantic and then make-out sessions at the hotel. How perfect!

Next up is a 1x1 date with Madison. She wasn't really on my radar until this date to be honest and now I am really liking her. The date actually consisted of Peter taking Madison to his parents house for their vow renewal ceremony. And surprise, he is now ordained! I honestly don't know how you couldn't like cute little Peter at this point. He seems to be the real deal. Madison sure looks in her element and she sort of reminds me a little of his mom. Of course, she caught the bouquet when his mom threw it- scripted much?

After the date, more making out, and then let's talk a little bit. Madison tells her this feels like home. They both agree that long term marriages of their parents make them want one of their own. More making out. Oh and here is Tenille Arts to perform and we can dance together and make out some more. Joined by family and friends now on the dance floor,  I don't want this night to ever end! (I mean I do cuz why did this have to be three hours on the premiere night anyways?!)

Back in the house, another envelope arrives for another group date. This time these girls are chosen: Lauren, Sydney, Katie, Natasha, Alexa, Kelsey, Mykenna, Alayah and Savannah. The title reads "I hope this isn't awkward" which means you know it's going to be a mess. 

These girls show up to a theater with a windmill prop on the stage and none other than Hannah Brown who reiterates the story of the time they did it four times in a windmill. Peter has told the girls nothing about this date other than a friend of his planned it and he doesn't know what they are doing. After Hannah gets done with her story, she then tells the girls that they have to write out a story and share it with a live audience. This story needs to be of the sexual nature of something they have done or want to do - You know you are going to want to read this blog next week to hear my thoughts on these!

During the writing, Hannah can be found crying in the windmill about how she made a mistake letting Peter go. Good God lady- wear waterproof mascara cuz you are ugly crying with huge black makeup smeared eyes. Hannah and Peter talk it out and by talking it out, Peter invites her to join the house and OMG did anyone see that coming? Hannah doesn't know what to say or think. Now she has Peter crying- this makes me wonder if they really do belong together or are they just physically attracted to each other? Who knows?!

I have to leave you wanting more (or less?) because it's to be continued next week. The preview shows at least 75% of the girls crying about something or other. Not enough time with Peter? Not enough tongue making out? Not enough 1x1 date? Not enough group date? We shall see so stay tuned for next week's commentary!

Thanks for reading and following along with me!



  1. I have never actually watched this show. I have heard a lot about it those.


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