Fashion posts are pretty easy to write. Take some pictures and edit them. Write about your outfit. Write about how the outfit made you feel. Of course you loved it or you wouldn't wear it and you wouldn't write about it. (Duh!)
But Life isn't a fashion post. Life is tough. Life is hard. Life can be cruel. Life can be kind.
We are all fighting a battle. We are all going through hard times in life. It doesn't matter what it is, if we think it's hard, then it's hard. I cannot compare my issues or dilemmas to those of someone else. If someone else's battle is hard because they need or want money for something that I think is unnecessary, it is still their battle. If someone is wanting to lose that last ten pounds of baby weight, that is their battle. Then there's the obvious battles like sickness, relationships, job loss, even housing, hunger, etc. you get it. My point is not to minimize what someone else is going through just because you might not think it is as important.
While I won't go into detail about what I am personally battling, I will tell you that it has been very tough for me. Some things were my decision and some things were not. Life handed me the cards that I was dealt. How am I going to play them?
Life-changing decisions are being made. It's tough. I cry. A lot. I didn't know I had this many tears inside of me. I didn't know I was capable of feeling the way I do about a lot of things. I didn't know the emotions that I could even feel. I think for so long things were bottled inside of me and the cork was just taken off.
My emotions run wild. I struggle with thoughts that I never had before. I struggle daily, even hourly sometimes. I told you. I cry. I get mad. I feel hurt. I feel anger. I feel love.
I am guilty of sometimes projecting my frustration on to those that love me and care about me. To you if you are reading this: I am sorry. Thank you for being there for me during these times. I promise I am getting better at this! Don't give up on me!
I find myself feeling negative sometimes-if I am being really honest, some days it's a lot. Someone told me once that even in this situation, I have it so good and I really have to agree. While this has been a difficult year for me as I have been struggling, I have it so good. God is so good to me. He has given me more than I could ever ask for. He has blessed me with an amazing support system (you know who you are) while I fight these battles. He has blessed me materially. I don't go without. I have my health. He has blessed me with new friends and relationships and made some of the existing ones stronger. He has blessed me spiritually. I have been observing the Sabbath on Saturdays and spending time with Him. I have been studying my Bible and been following laws and commandments in the Bible which has helped me draw even closer to Him.
I want to share my struggle with all of you because a wise person who I love very much told me that I am stronger than I think I am. While I struggle often, I remember that I am stronger and this is just a season. I have doubts and insecurities at times-some of the time they are totally unnecessary and are all made up in my head but regardless, I still have them.
This wise person also told me to take it day by day. Sometimes it will be even be hour by hour. I think about this often. Sometimes it's hard to get through something. You wish someone was available right at the minute that you need to talk and they are not. You wish you could just pack up and go somewhere but you can't, You wish, you wish, you wish. But life is about living in the present-it's not about wishing. You cannot wish your life away-live the life that you were given.
I get out of bed in the morning and choose to be happy. Happiness and positivity attracts happiness and positivity. You give off good vibes. People want to see you. They want to know you. They want to be around you.
Don't get me wrong. I still have those days-those hours. I had one on Friday. I still have struggles. But I have some verses in the Bible to help me through. One of my favorites is Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee." Oh boy. How hard is it to trust that He knows what He is doing and the situation you are going through was meant to be? Ugh, I don't know about you, but it's tough to remember this. Keep focused on His Word and Him and He will give you the perfect peace.
Another verse I love is Psalm 30:5 "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Joy comes in the morning. Remember what I said about being blessed? If He blesses us with another day on this earth, we have another opportunity to choose joy. My mom used to tell us that when we were feeling down, we could go to sleep and wake up and feel better. Tomorrow's another day. I tell my son this same thing when he struggles.
And how about these verses found in Romans 5:3-5: "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Wow. So our challenges actually teach us to be patient?! I have to remember that everything I am going through teaches me something. It teaches me how to work through the situation-even though it feels like I am doing it alone sometimes.
And speaking of loneliness, I do feel that way- a lot. You know it's even possible to be physically with people and still feel lonely. Here's my favorite verse to help me through this: Deuteronomy 31:6; "Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee nor forsake thee." Thank you Lord for your promise to be with me always!
In closing (I hope you have stayed with me until the end...), we all have strength-even when we don't think we do. One of my favorite new quotes that I recently found says: " Some times when things are falling apart, they may actually falling into place." This past year I have gone through a lot. But looking back, I have changed so much. It is unreal to see the person that I was and the person that I am now. Here's a photo that shows physical changes that have happened to me:
Going to yoga has also been helping me tremendously. The strength that I didn't think I had physically, I'm now finding. The mind tells us we can or cannot do something. The mind wants to tell me that I can't even though I know I can. Yoga isn't only about strengthening and stretching your body, it's also so much more. It's about learning to trust yourself and try to do a little- even if you think you can't. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish when you really set out to do it!
I'm becoming stronger and more confident and I'm not waiting around anymore. I'm going to get out there and get what I want! (I hope right now you're all saying Get it, girl!). Finding inner strength and peace can be difficult but I'm learning the tools that I can use to help me get to to the results that I want. I'll always always need encouragement and plenty of hand-holding and talking through situations but I also need to learn to depend on Him more.
Have a great rest of your weekend!
Thanks for reading and following along with me!