Throwback Thursday: Full Body Love
I thought I would do something different on the blog this week. Who doesn’t love a good throwback Thursday pic? But why not have some commentary behind it and talk about it more?
Dia and Co usually has a monthly campaign in which they discuss different issues. You all know how much I love my monthly Dia and Co box-I actually did an unboxing today over on Instagram! February’s topic is full body love so I thought I would talk about the first time I took a full length body pic and posted it on Instagram.
I remember it clearly-I first started posting my outfits of the day on Instagram in a flat lay on the floor in my spare room. I lived in MI at the time and it was winter and freezing cold. I remember that someone (I wish I could remember who) actually commented on a picture of mine and asked me why I didn’t post a picture of myself wearing my clothes. I remember feeling scared and I didn’t want people to see pictures of me. I was incredibly self-conscious and didn’t think I would ever measure up to other people who I saw online. I remember covering up labels on my jeans so people wouldn’t know that I bought them at Lane Bryant instead of stores where other people shopped because they were smaller than me. I never tagged my jeans and someone even called me out on it one day and asked me why. By the way, social media isn't for the faint of heart...
Was I ashamed? I think it is safe to say yes. Why? I don’t know. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else. When I started to follow other people, I wanted to be like them. I looked for the same style and sort of clothes that they were wearing but had a hard time finding them in my size. I would also rush out to buy whatever someone else had even if I didn’t need it. I just wanted to be liked and wanted to fit in. I was not confident in who I was or how I looked or anything. I think part of me thought that if I looked like others, I would be happier. I would be more stylish and people would like me? I really can’t say but my how times have changed for me.
I have discovered real love. And that is love for myself. Full body love. I have learned that I am not perfect and never will be. I have learned that neither is anyone else. I also know that just as I only show snippets and highlights of my life, so does everyone else. I have come to terms with the way I look and you know what? I love it. I have loved discovering how to put on makeup better and how to style my hair and my clothes. I have loved becoming a body positive role model that hopefully others can show to their friends and family as someone who is real and authentic.
Gone are the days of covering up labels on my clothes. Now I am proud to represent lots of companies and wear their clothing and show all of you how to feel comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself. I’ve learned that I have to love myself before anyone else will. We all have things about ourselves that we want to change. We all have things that we don’t particularly like but that should not keep us for loving ourselves. I have said a lot of times that I don’t care for my legs. They are full of cellulite and stretch marks and I have always been self-conscious about them. I can’t help the way they look but I can help the way I feel about them. Lots of people have cellulite so just deal with it. Life is too short not to wear something you love because you feel self-conscious about it. Who says everyone or anyone for that matter is even looking at you?
So, this morning I woke up with a giant headache. I didn't feel good. I put on one of my favorite dresses and one of my favorite sweaters (with hearts!) and my favorite booties and got out there. I did this full-length picture just like any other day as I have been now for five years. This picture might not be the best. It isn't sexy by any means. My hair is puffy because I washed it before bed last night and it dried while I slept. But I set the timer and took the picture myself. No one is behind the camera making me smile. It is just me loving life.
Five years! I cannot believe I wasted so much of my life not loving myself! Now I get up in the morning and look at clothes that I love and shoes I love and wear what I want. Stare at me if you want but the world is my runway and I am gonna walk it!
So for fun, here is the first picture that I put on Instagram that shows my full body. I remember this being in my house because it was in March 2013 and it was freezing outside! I also noticed that I put more emphasis on my accessories since I wasn’t at a point like now where I focus more on my clothing and how I look in it. It isn't very focused and is a little fuzzy. It is me being nervous about how many people would like it. By the way, this picture got 6 likes on Instagram that day.
I have grown and so can you. I love my curves. I love how I look in certain clothing items. I feel good and you can tell that I’m for sure feeling myself in some of my pics that I post!
I hope that I can encourage at least one person that reads this post. Feel free to be yourself! Let go and get out there and enjoy life! Find your happiness by loving yourself first and it is true that your life will change! I have become more positive and loving and enjoy everyday things more than I ever have before. I know a lot comes with age and being older but why wait?
Full body love. Take care of yourself. Love yourself. It starts with you.
Thanks for reading and following along with me.